The Trouble With Tomboys
by halliegirl
Summary: A oneshot story telling Ranma's point of view, especially at those confusing moments when Akane isn't trying to kill him with her mallet. RaAk


Ranma 1/2:  
  
The Trouble with Tomboys  
  
By halliegirl  
  
Disclaimer: As always, I'm just a loser who can't think up her own ideas, so I can't own something as ingenious as Rumiko Takahashi's creations. Oh well.  
  
Ryoga: Where am I now?!  
  
Hallie: Uh, Ryoga, wrong fanfic.  
  
Ryoga: Oh. Well why didn't you put me in this one!!?  
  
Hallie: *sweatdrops* I haven't gotten that far yet! Please don't kill me! Here. I'll let you read the summary.  
  
Ryoga: Hm. *reading* A glimpse into Ranma's point of view in his relationship with. Akane!? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?  
  
Hallie: That wasn't in the script, Ryoga. You're trying my patience.  
  
Ryoga: Heh heh, right. *reading silently* There is NO way I'm reading this, Hallie! You had better put up a fanfic with ME and AKANE in the next fanfic.  
  
Hallie: *sweatdropping again* We'll see. Anyways. Greetings from Ryoga and I. We hope you enjoy this fanfic.  
  
Ryoga: Who says WE hope they enjoy this fanfic!? I hope they hate it! Then that'll teach you to write Ranma/Akane relationship-based stories!  
  
Hallie: Ack! Well then, *I* hope you all ENJOY!  
  
* * *  
  
Tomboys suck! All of them. Especially one in particular. Okay, so maybe she doesn't suck, but sometimes she comes pretty damn close!  
  
Oh yeah, I never told you my name. Ranma Saotome (girl-type) here. The reason I'm dripping wet and female is because of that certain tomboy, Akane. That uncute ox of a "girl" just malleted me into the pond for the fifth time today! And why?! Because I said that her cooking could use improvement (maybe if I'd put it that tactfully I wouldn't be in this mess). Oh well. So I'm a baka sometimes, I admit it. But would SHE admit that her cooking could kill an army? No, she just tries to stuff that crap down my throat! YUCK!! I wish she'd try to get Kuno to eat that junk. He'd be stupid enough to do it, and then he wouldn't be alive to bug me anymore. No more "Saotome you fiend!" or "My love is for the pig-tailed girl!" Ugh.  
  
Hold on a minute. I've gotta get that kettle and change back to normal, 'kay?  
  
All right! I'm a boy again! Man I hate that curse. Now where was I? Oh yeah, I was tellin' you why tomboys suck-er-ALMOST suck.  
  
First off, their cooking. Have you ever survived the witch's stew made by a tomboy? It casts a spell all right. The spell of toxic poisoning! Blech!! Then when you try it and turn various shades of green, she blames you! Out comes the mallet, and up you go into orbit. I wish she wasn't so dense! Hellooo! If the person turns green, they can't help it, but you can. Check what's in your food! Needless to say, she's much more dangerous with a cooking spoon than with a mallet. But Akane'll never get a clue. What to do?  
  
Next problem with tomboys: they're CLUMSY! They push you away when you offer help, then screw everything up. And you're left to fix it. Hmph.  
  
Why do men want a girl like her anyhow? All she ever does is pound them into oblivion, and she's not all that cute.  
  
"Ranma!" Hold that thought. Here she comes now.  
  
I gulp. Here goes my health. "What'd I do now?!"  
  
"Oh, Ranma!" She. HUGS me?! Oh, Kami! Damn, why is my face burning?! "I'm so sorry!" Okay, she's sorry. Fair enough. Wait a sec, are those TEARS soaking into my shirt?  
  
"H-hey, d-don't cry on me." Aw, shut up! So my words are a little shaky! So sue me!  
  
Akane doesn't listen to me. Hell, she never listens to me anyway, but I can't be angry with her right now. She's crying like a NORMAL girl right now. Instead, I can't say nothin'! But she can. "I tasted it! My cooking is horrible! I'm not good at ANYTHING! I can't believe I made you eat that! Please forgive me, Ranma!"  
  
She's hysterical. I can't handle her like this. Maybe I can use the Saotome Special Technique- RUN! I stop as I hit the shingles of the roof. She sobbed. Oh man she's crying I can't not now what to do what do I do?! Her next cry does it. I can't leave her like that. I drop down off the roof. She's there in front of me, on her knees, tears streaming down her face. WHY do I feel bad? S'not like I told her anything to hurt her. SHE'S the one who's supposed to be hurting! Not me! So why am I hurting? I take a cautious step towards her. What if she gets pissed and hits me? Oh, what the hell? It'd be better if she slugged me one. At least I'd know how to handle that. But this? How do you handle this? Let's see, I could call her uncute, get her to fight with me, and that'd help her, right? Pop did stuff like that with me and look how I turned out! Wait, don't look. Part of how I grew up has to do with what a jerk I can sometimes be. I bet it has something to do with why I'm having problems right here, right now. I know I gotta do something, but what?  
  
She looks up at me with a pained expression, tears glistening in her brown eyes. Wow, she's beautif- ah. . . cu- no, that ain't it. . . pret- hold it! WHAT is she? She looks like a girl, that's it. Only a girl, nothin' more, so why am I having trouble saying something, even an insult?  
  
Akane saves me the trouble of talking once again. "It's okay," she tells me. "You don't have to stay."  
  
I know she's hurting. I'm not stupid. I can be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not stupid. Bakas aren't ALWAYS stupid, you know. What to do? I've asked this question probably a hundred times now, but no one's answered me yet. So help me out! What to do? What to do?  
  
She sniffles. "I'm just so sorry, Ranma."  
  
Damn! I made her cry again by not sayin' nothin'! Come on, baka! Say something! "Uh, A-Akane, it prob'ly wasn't THAT bad." Oh, REAL smart, Saotome! Yeah, like I even tried it this time!  
  
"It is! Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Don't look at me that way, Akane, please! WHAT is it about her?  
  
What can I do? I notice the sun has begun to set. The wind is blowing a cool breeze. It feels good to me, but I look at Akane, and notice that she's shaking, and she's got her arms wrapped around herself. THAT'S what I could do! I could hold her, right? I could at least keep her warm. I'll ask. "Akane, you cold?"  
  
"What would YOU care?" Ouch. C'mon, baka! Who's the moron now, you kawaiikunee tomboy?!  
  
I'm gonna say that. I open my mouth, then, she bursts into tears again and I quickly shut it. I make it a point to keep my mouth shut as I kneel down beside her. "You ARE cold, ain't you?" I finally whisper.  
  
"Maybe a little."  
  
"A little my ass!" I say, my tone harsher than I intended. I take hold of her by the shoulders and pull her to my chest. Man, she IS cold! It makes me hold her tighter.  
  
And she's hugging me back. Funny, the air outside must have risen a few degrees, 'cuz I'm sweatin', and she doesn't seem to be that cold anymore.  
  
"You okay?" I manage.  
  
Akane raises her eyes to mine. They seem to shimmer in the reddish glow of the setting sun. "Yes, thank you, Ranma."  
  
"It was nuthin'." Damnit! Quit blushing like an idiot, Saotome! And YOU stay outta this! Yeah you! Sittin' there thinkin' that I actually LIKE that kawaiikunee tomboy!  
  
Her cheeks show a little rose color as well. Man, she looks so. girlish, so cute- aagh! I'm doin' it again! Okay, so she can be cute when she wants to be.  
  
She's smiling at me. okay okay she's down right beautiful when she wants to be! But that doesn't mean that I lo-LIKE that tomboy!  
  
"I'm so sorry," she says again. Won't she forget it?!  
  
"It's okay, Akane. I'll try your cooking next time, okay? It'll get better, you just need practice." Why do I get suckered into these messes? I always end up screwing myself over because of my motor mouth. Maybe someday I'll learn to can it.  
  
But her smile is worth anything, and suddenly, I realize how close our bodies are. Her face is inches under mine, the perfect position for.  
  
She realizes it too. She raises her head to mine, and parts her lips slightly.  
  
I can smell the sweet scent of cherry blossom shampoo in her hair. There's no one, but Akane. I tilt my head and lean in, my lips grazing softly against her own. Why ain't I stopping myself? Why does this feel so GOOD? Am I really gonna finally kiss her, this amazing creature in front of me? Am I finally going to show her how I feel? I close my eyes, and.  
  
.then I feel it. THE change. I'm shorter now, and since I'm bent over in my female form, my forehead collides with Akane's chin. Damn.  
  
"Oww!" Akane groans.  
  
"Tell me about it," I grumble. I notice the tiny droplets of rain that splatter all around us, including on us.  
  
And Akane, upon seeing how close I am to her in my cursed form, can always be counted on. "Why you PERVERT!" She shouts and out comes her mallet, slamming my head into the ground.  
  
"Kawaiikunee!" I mutter. See what I've been telling you all along? Tomboys suck!  
  
No, I have to correct myself with a smile, any other tomboy probably sucks. Akane only almost does, and that's a BIG difference. Because every time she smiles, she's so cute, and it makes up for every malleting she's ever pulled on me. And that's gotta count for something, right?  
  
* * *  
  
Author's note: How did you all like this one-shot? I certainly hope you liked it better than Ryoga did. LOL. Anyways, feel free to give some reviews, but PLEASE NO FLAMES! Thanks all, --halliegirl 


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